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Wednesday, October 2, 2013

Insecure Writer's Support Group (4)


Purpose: To share and encourage. Writers can express doubts and concerns without fear of appearing foolish or weak. Those who have been through the fire can offer assistance and guidance. It’s a safe haven for insecure writers of all kinds!  Posting is first Wednesday of every month. Click here for more info.

I'm going to twist this around a little bit and confess something:

I love insecurity. There. I said it.

Why? Well, because it's a necessary evil. It's one of those things that can truly really help keep us grounded. Just imagine the world full of arrogant people running around just knowing they are the sh*t. I don't know about you, but I'm already rolling my eyes at this hypothetical situation.

I think insecurity is also key in helping us to keep growing. It can be that little nudge that you need to keep pushing yourself to be as good as you possibly can at that very moment. And then? You think you can't beat what you've already accomplished or who you've become, but you can. If you are willing to try and prove it at least to yourself, you can. Personally, I want to always learn so I embrace it. Come here insecurity *smooches*. . . ahem, sorry. . .

Also, in case you didn't notice . . . this is mostly a pep-talk to myself. I've been stuck on this current WIP and I'm afraid I will not be able to pull it off. I feel the nerves about to explode inside me. So . . . I figure I try to look at it on the bright side: I need to be insecure so I can be better. Am I crazy or do you agree? Or both? Or none? (In which case, thank you for not thinking I'm crazy)

37 comments:

  1. I don't think you're crazy and neither does Erich Fromm since he said: The task we must set for ourselves is not to feel secure, but to be able to tolerate insecurity. According to him, you're on the right track.

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    1. Oh this is an awesome quote! Thanks for sharing it ;)

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  2. You make a really good point. I certainly wouldn't be the same person without my insecurity, and I doubt I would like the person I'd be.
    I think my insecurities help me to be a better writer. They are what make me edit and revise my stories until I can't stand it any more. If I didn't do that, my stories wouldn't be very good at all.

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    1. Exactly!
      As much as it makes me want to pull my hair out, I know it's been a huge help in me constantly growing as a writer.

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  3. I've heard that fear is one of the greatest motivators, and since insecurity is like fear, I think your reasoning makes perfect sense.

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    1. Fear and insecurity do go hand in hand I guess. I usually let fear hold me back and have insecurity bring me down. I have to change my perspective on it and look at it as I am looking at insecurity. Thanks :)

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  4. Insecurity is fear. Fear is a necessary evil, I've heard, because it keeps us from doing stupidly dangerous things. Thing is, keep the fear that makes you prudent and sensible, and get rid of the fear that chains you and keeps you from achieving something or from believing in yourself. That's what dragon thinks. Dragon Hugs!

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    1. Dragon thinks in a perfectly reasonable way. I like this way of thinking, Al!

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  5. You make a solid point there. If we we're insecure about stuff, that would practically make it impossible for us to survive as a species. The inner drive for self-preservation has its rewards! :)

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    1. It sure does, David! I like it: I'm self-preserving :P

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  6. I find insecurity informative. Why not? I don't think insecurity is a problem, but your reaction to it can be. You seem to reacting in the positive way. Kudos! Happy IWSG Day!

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    1. I'm trying to react to it in a positive way, and you are right... it is informative! Thanks, Molly!

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  7. It keeps us sharp - and keeps us humble. Go ahead and embrace it. Not sure about the kissing though...

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    1. But.. but.. but.. the kissing was the fun part! No? Okay... fine :-/
      :P

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  8. So, so true! We don't grow unless we're uncomfortable. Not saying I'm going to put pins on my computer chair or anything, but I appreciate pain and what it stimulates us to become. =)

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    1. Pins! That's what I need. Wait, that wasn't your point, was it?
      You are right, it does stimulate us and help us in the end :)

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  9. There's a flip side to every coin and you've pinned this one spot-on. I try to look at my guilt the same way- that little voice in my head that says "You should be writing right now..." and makes me feel guilty if I don't. It keeps me going, keeps me plugging away when i'd sooner run screaming and dive under a fluffy blanket.

    Waita see the bright side of this proverbial cloud! Great post!

    Much love,
    Bev

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    1. Guilt is a powerful motivator too. Good one! ;)

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  10. I think you speak total truth. Okay, that crippling second guessing that sometimes shuts my brain down? I don't need that...but I do want to be humble. To remember how hard all of this is and never turn into one of those snotty writers who look down on the person trying their guts out. That is if I succeed. Big. You can hold me accountable, just say...no wonder you're too big for your britches...you've got to fit that butt in them. That will keep me grounded. Well, that and the increasing effects of gravity on my body.

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    1. lol
      The ever expanding butt that follows us all, hey... love you spinning it this way though: the increasing effects of gravity on our bodies along with insecurity *should* keep us grounded. Fingers crossed!

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  11. You're not crazy. You're just clever enough to use your weakness to turn on a strength! :)

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    1. Christine, I knew I liked you.
      I'm not crazy. Woot! :P

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  12. OMG, you too? I'm in the middle of two WIPs and I'm starting to think I can't pull either of them off. I don't smooch my insecurity, but it's the stick I beat myself up with to make my work better. Wishing you bunches of good luck, and a wonderful weekend. :-)

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    1. I probably should try the stick too... that might be the trick lol
      Good luck, Lexa. You can do it!!!

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  13. You're right. I think it does keep us growing and that is a very good thing. I always have a *this whole manuscript sucks* phase. Always.

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    1. Oh that phase? Yes, we know each other intimately o_0

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  14. I couldn't agree more, S.K.....insecurity can keep us 'humble', for sure. It also helps us step up and bring our "A" game....especially in the writing arena.

    Great post!

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    1. We all do benefit from being humble, thanks Mark.

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  15. You know, you're absolutely right, SK. I know without it, I wouldn't have grown the way I have in the past few years. :)

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    1. I've grown a lot thanks to insecurity as well, sadly it doesn't help height (as I can use it) but I'm glad I've had it to keep me grounded. ;)

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  16. I agree with the others - you're right! We need the insecurity. I can't stand it when people don't show any - comes across arrogant. I think knowing that we aren't perfect means that we're willing and want to get better. That WIP will be great ;)

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    1. Fingers crossed it will be a good enough one. And fingers crossed insecurity keeps pushing me to improve it as best I can :)

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  17. I TOTALLY agree. I tell my kids this all the time---if they were already perfect and wonderful at everything what would be the point of going to school or practice or whatever? We've got to fail sometimes or lose the incentive to improve, just like you said. And thanks for saying it, because sometimes I forget that I need to listen to my own advice.

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    1. I like that, Nicki. I will now go tell my kids how imperfect they are.... err... kidding lol
      It is a good incentive to keep improving. Thanks for stopping by ;)

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  18. Weird I swore I commented on this....Anyway, what I thought I said was that I agree with you. When we feel we have reached perfection we have stopped growing as an artist and that is never a good place to be.

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    1. Well, you are weird, so who knows? :P
      Perfection is overrated, but its good for us to keep trying to be our best.

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